exploration of the various dimensions of ... self..a...journey... unborn and....unnamed.......anaamayoham.......thats me.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
maaya
Sunday, June 08, 2008
the beauty of not knowing...........Zo
But what is amusing ....is that at each passing moment i feel strongly about these very words that i am confused about.....they don't distress me any more ...to admit....that i don't know ....that i feel....and that i want to know....i just hope that this ......IS...my life...and it WILL remain like that ....be cause its such fun not knowing ......and trying to know.
because it give the life ......so wretched and unbearable....in Bombay........a meaning
because it gives hope...
and its hope ...that leads me ..to Love...
isn't this wonderful?
Zo?
plants... orkids.... nana and the kid
Do kids need a mentor...especially kids who have a traumatic childhood....or kids who are ahead of the time....their time and others..........kids are the manifestations of of the longing ...of the love...of the heart that cares.....of the hand that feeds........
Do you remember me...
As i remember my place in the magnificent cave....and the light .....
I remember it .....always....not even a second is lost without feeling the aroma of the freshness of that place....i breath it from my heart .......thats why i can afford the orchids ...................for you
Will you come running to me as the kid runs and hugs " bhootya" ....the key protagonist in the film.................I would.........................................................................if i see you................................................if ever i saw you
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Monsoon memories
TISS has lot of activity in the bushes,sometimes its the students but most of the creepers that hug them makes the campus heavenly...especially during rains.Its raining now and and i can imagine the transformation in the campus.Though TISS says goodbye to its students every year ,,,many like me can never say it.....or ..would ever say it...some thing like aatmasat has happened to us in this campus.
As i walked down the road just after the library ...i felt a movement around the gutter on the left side.I am very sensitive to such moments especially after seeing a long snake cruise across the basket ball court.People said that there lived a snake family in TISS.some even said that it was a Cobra.when i looked in closely i couldn't find any thing ......but in a fraction i saw a lone pigeon standing just beside the the stones kept at the border of the gutter. Some thing struck me ..about the pigeon..it appeared she was a kid..just learning to fly... she seemed to searching her way back to the nest.....Nothing appeared amiss .i went a step or two further and turned back to observe her ...now i felt her expression changing ...she seemed to be a bit restless....Suddenly about 10 steps to the side i saw a large cat..assuming the hunters position .in a fraction of a sec the cat had her by the neck...and She was gone . ...abruptly....i can never forget my helplessness...lack of initiative ...and fore thought ...like i felt on that moment....it was a moment of paralysis..
On that very day ....while starting from the dining hall there was this question in my mind ....How would i die? will it cause pain..will it be protracted....I jokingly asked my guru whether he knew about it !!!.....and a few steps after i saw the eternal hunter and the hunted drama being enacted in front of my eyes.......a colossal inner voice appeared from no where and said"you will die the pigeons death......swift....sudden.....and complete....the countdown shall start the day you will begin the journey back to your child hood.and the moment you are a child ...you will die...
What remains with me is a count down....every moment appears precious...and every body i meet appears divine.....I live every moment of my life...as though it was the last moment...the very last drop of wine .....drunk with this new found love for life......i dance in rejoice....and say....Zoya ....you are my childhood .the day i become one with you....i am no longer there....but iwoudnt mind it in any way......
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
remembring debu
when i die...
dont cry .....
for i live in ur memories ........
When im gone.....
dont search for me....
for i ll then ...be every where....
inside and out side you.....
When i live ....
all i want is that ....
u fight with me .....
give me a challenge every day...
give me a fight ..that will make my day brighter..
make my eyes swell with tears........for the needy...
make me slog.......and sweat ....for that will make my chai taste sweeter...
hug me ...as though we are for ever one........
and
dont u dare to forget holding my hands ......while crossing the road...
i live....here and now......
in an embrace......
in love